HAPPY PLACES

 

I’VE BEEN POKING AROUND THE

CATACOMBS OF MY MIND PALACE

FOR TOO LONG NOW

SHIFTING BOXES OF DUST AND MUCK

FINDING PLACES FOR BROKEN THINGS

TOO HEAVY TO THROW OUT OF LUCK

THIS ‘SYSIPHIAN’ TASK

THIS ILLUSION OF TIDYING

 

FUCK THIS

THERE’S PLENTY TO DO IN THE GARDEN

 

I CAN GET A SAUSAGE SANDWICH

FROM THE CAFE ON THE WHARF

REASONABLY PRICED WITH ACTUAL MEAT

NEVER MIND THOSE SAUSAGE FLAVOURED BREADSTICKS FROM ‘TONY’S’

 

ADMIRATION FOR THE SUNDAY TRAPEZIST

DEDICATION, TIME AND EFFORT

DEVELOPING A SKILL

ONLY USEFUL FOR AN EPIC FALL

 

REMINDING TIME TRAVEL MACHINE INVENTORS THAT BECAUSE THIS PLANET IS SPINNING AROUND THE SUN AT ABOUT 30KM/S AND OUR STAR IS PART OF A GALAXY SPINNING AT A LITTLE OVER HALF A MILLION MILES AN HOUR, IN TERMS OF OUR PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE WE ARE ABOUT FIFTY MILLION MILES AWAY FROM WHERE WE WERE A DAY AGO.

 

THE INSECURE OPTIMISM OF A HUNGRY PUPPY

 

SAT IN THE GARAGE WITH DAD

LISTENING TO THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION

“WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM?!”

THE CORDLESS DRILL

THAT CAME IN A BAG WITH NO RECEIPT

AND NO CHARGER

THE BARE WIRE SOLUTIONS TO PROBLEMS

THE LATENT PARENTING

AS HE REMEMBERS TO REMIND HIS FORTY YEAR OLD SON THAT TOUCHING ELECTRICITY CAN BE BAD FOR YOU!

 

SO THAT’S WHERE I GET THAT FROM

 

 

WATCHING MUM IN A GALLERY

IN DEEP EXAMINATION

DOES IT DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE TIN?

ASSESSMENT OF FORM, INTENT AND DELIVERY

AS IF IN CONVERSATION WITH THE CREATOR

SOMEWHERE FOUR HUNDRED YEARS BETWEEN THEN AND NOW

‘REMBRANT’ LETS OUT A SIGH OF RELIEF AND MOPS HIS BROW

“I’M GLAD YOU LIKE IT MAVIS”

 

 

SO THAT’S WHERE I GET THAT FROM

 

 

THE FIRST TIME I LED MY LITTLE BROTHER DOWN THE NIGHT GARDEN PATH

HE SWORE BLIND HE’D BEEN FAKED

I LOOKED HIM IN HIS EYES AND SAW THE TWINKLE REPLACED

WITH ‘DISNEY’ SIZED PISS HOLES IN THE SNOW

I TOLD ‘BAMBI’ TO ROLL HIS JAW TO AND FRO

SAW HIM FIND HIS TWINKLE IN HIS TOE

AND BOUND OF INTO A THUMPER OF A NIGHT

HE WAS FOUND LATER THE NEXT DAY IN THE KITCHEN OF A SHARED HOUSE IN BRIGHTON. HALF OF WHICH THAT HAD NOT BEEN CLEANED SINCE DOOR KEYS HAD EXCHANGED

THE OTHER HALF SCRUBBED SPOTLESS TO A STANDARD THAT ANY KILLER AT A CRIME SCENE WOULD BE PROUD OF

KETTLES AND TOASTERS NOW READY TO BE SOLD ON ‘EBAY’, IF ‘EBAY’ HAD BEEN A THING THEN

 

IF HE EVER FIGURES OUT WHERE HE GETS THAT FROM HE SHOULD LET SOMEONE KNOW

 

LOOKING THROUGH THE LENS OF A CAMERA WITH MY FINGER ON THE TRIGGER

THE CALM OF A PREDATOR HUNTING PREY

“Kill da ‘wabbit”

“Kill da ‘wabbit”

 

THROUGH THIS LITTLE HOLE

I AM GOD

AND I HAVE A TINY UNIVERSE TO CREATE

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING IN HERE

I CHOOSE WHEN TO PUSH THE BUTTON

MY ACTION WILL DETERMINE DINNER

 

GOING BALD

EASY

JUST DO IT

I NEVER CARED ABOUT MY HAIR WHEN I HAD IT, IT WOULD SEEM INCONGRUOUS TO CARE ABOUT NOT HAVING IT 

AS A YOUNG MAN

I MADE A DEAL WITH MY HAIR

IF I GO BALD BEFORE I GO GREY

WOULD FRONT TO BACK BE O.K.?

TWENTY YEARS ON, THE FOLICLE GODS WERE TRUE TO THEIR WORD

 

I MADE THE SAME OFFER TO DEATH

NEVER HAD CANCER, HEARD BAD THINGS

 

I’VE BEEN BEATEN UNCONSCIOUS

DIDN’T SEE IT COMING

TWENTY SECONDS OF HEAD KICKS

LIGHTS OUT

LAST WORDS?

‘Alright, fine’

 

THE SHELTER OF A HOT SUMMER SHOWER

THE RELIEF ALL AROUND

THE PRESSURE DROP

FRESH SENSE

SENT FROM ABOVE

CLIMATE CHANGE IN ACTION

THERE TO TOUCH

 

 

A PARTY

A SURPRISE GUEST

A GIRL FROM COLLEGE, NOW A WOMAN

ALWAYS TOO GOOD FOR ME

ELEGANCE, POISE AND GRACE 

A COOL GLASS OF WATER IN A DESERT OF FOOLS

COMFORT IN REASON WITH A TIME AND A PLACE FOR NAUGHTY 

AND THAT TIME AND PLACE WAS, APPARENTLY, EIGHT YEARS AFTER LEAVING COLLEGE

TONIGHT

WE WERE FREE TO TINKER

WE WENT LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO RUB PINK PARTS

QUITE THE FAIL

AS IF THE BATHROOM WOULD EVER BE FREE

SO WE MADE NAUGHTY INNOCENT AND SHE SKIPPED OFF INTO THE SUNRISE

 

 

I’VE NEVER DREAMED OF WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

NEVER GONE ON A QUEST

THESE SMALL BUT PERFECTLY FORMED RELATIONSHIPS

KEPT SAFELY FOR THE BEST

 

STILL 

 

 

DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE TO BE HAPPY?