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            THE WRONG TRAP


            When are you in charge of you?

            All of the time?

            Some of the time? 

            None of the time?

            What have you let go?

            What wheel are you on?

            Do you blame yourself?


            Well, other people blame you too. Blame, the trickle down response, the gift that keeps on giving.


            “This idea does not belong to the soul, it belongs to the idea”

(Charles Saunders Dean)            


            ‘The Buck Stops Here’

(Fucking Everyone Apparently)           


            ‘The Buck’ seems to move around plenty these days, does it even stop anywhere anymore?

             Better to be in charge of everything or nothing

            Middle management get squashed like grape!

            Everyone’s right

            Everyone’s wrong

            All the time, right?


            To truly find out what matters, try mind over mind.


            Try to right the wrong trap


            Can you remind yourself and agree with yourself

            That you absolutely know

            That there is more to know

            Than you will ever know

            That what you know to be right

            Right now might be wrong in time

            Easy as an abstract thought

            Tell it to the judge in court

            Everyone from ‘Ghengis Khan’ to ‘Pablo Escobar’ believed they were right, the difference is how many people agreed with them; the king of Medellin built schools for his subjects. From ‘Charlie Manson’s’ point of view, Charlie was right about everything. The force that drives a single being to create anything from a cult to a dynasty must be the most intoxicating elixer.

            I do a nice line in polemics. Step up, pop in for medicine.


            “To live fully is to live with an awareness of the rumble and terror that underlies everything”

Ernest Becker’            


            Back when we were animals fat, sugar and feelings kept us alive. Those feelings are still there, they are still real. our cells still need to keep the oxygen and glucose coming. Spiders still combine birth, death, marriage and lunch. Bee’s stick to ‘me too’ like honey. Even tomatoes scream.

            Ever since we became conscious of our own mortality, we have to live with that irksome awareness our whole lives. Living your best life might just be an ordinary live, doing no harm to others and having nice people say nice things about you at your funeral. 

            Just like craving sugar and and fat, knowing it’s bad for, we have evolved to a point where the gratification from achieving a significant legacy may be as tasty as a rib dripping in barbecue sauce and just as bad for your heart. Bill Gates already knows he has changed the world. Does he retire, not likely, Bill has clearly decided he’s not done yet.

            From the first time you toddle to a wall with a crayon

            To whatever you ogle and spray your flagrance on

            The consequences of what you will be remembered for will be of no consequence to you.

            Ghandi, Mandella, McGuinees; Even those who fought for progression of parity in society come with political baggage… and followers.




‘Donald Trump’            


            “The great and the good will decide what is good for us and make sure that we get what is good for us, good and hard.”

‘Nigel Farrage’            


            “I’ve learned something too; selling out is sweet because when you sell out; you get to make a lot of money and when you have money; you don’t have to hang out with a bunch of poor asses like you guys. Screw you guys, I’m going home.

‘Eric Cartman’            




‘Nina Simone’            


            Would ‘Twitter’ be as successful, more accurate and better for the psyche of the world if followers were called  ‘sheep’? No, that doesn’t work, ‘choosers’ perhaps?, Nope, still sucked in. ‘Democratic Opinionators’?, Pocket, Judge Jury and Executioners’? ‘Mind-Farters?’

            If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to tweet it…

            ‘Van gough’, worked as a courier, delivering relative insignificance across nations, he had no regard for career or self aggrandisement. He was simply driven by a compulsion to create something incomparable. During his life he made over two thousand paintings and sold maybe two. Do not ever confuse simple with easy. He wasn’t trying to revolutionise art. His actions, his compulsion to create versus his physical survival was torturous. No amount of money of fame would have solved that problem. ‘Kurt Cobain’ found the loss of his anonymity too high a price for what he did not intend to accomplish.

            Conversely, it is those that seek glory in power that should make us wary, yet thrive throughout history. While social media has, in so many ways, exploded that notion.

            The internet has burned the citadel

            Razed it to the ground

            The snake is eating it’s own tail

            Fake newsed it to fiery fucking hell

            One flick of the channel and we forget that we are all a part of history.

            The sentence you are reading now was originally written then for you yet now for me

           Two fixed points in time and space aligning minds with words

            Just now

            Wonder where you are now?

            Two gods from two different little universes in two unknown moments transferring an idea

            Do we agree?

            This is the battle

            This is where you beware of the wrong trap

            This is where you remind yourself that, despite who you think you are, no one else in the world sees you exactly that way

            We rule by consensus 

            It’s not who you say you are, it’s who we say you are

            It’s not what you know

            It’s not who you know

            It’s who ‘knows’ you

            Beware the wrong trap

            The one you may not know you are in

            The one they didn’t tell you about at the time

            The on that pins you to the wall with regret or shame

            The one where there is only one way out









            All hail the spirit of Catford

            I give him my time, my money and I say a little prayer… Not for him, for me, ‘There but for the grace of God, ( or whichever higher power you may or may not subscribe to), go I’.

            Beware feeling pity

            A hard drive that needs a clean up

            Remember the terms of the relationship are not equal

            Remember you are making them less valuable than you

            Remember this can just as easily be you

            Remember that someone who does not respect you cannot afford to concede to you, it is to much of an affront to their own status, their own ego

            Remember you are less than them, you simply have to be wrong, no matter what

            Remember you are an affront to their natural order, your ideas are transgressions by default, your words are threats

            Remember your foul, contrary follies must be utterly vanquished


            You are in the wrong trap


            The permanently right have spoke

            Like a loose chain on a bike

            That slips when you ride

            It’s broken, man it’s broken

            And while you’re wondering what happened to the truth, the winner is out there making sure everyone know’s they won and, much more importantly, you lost.


             Escaping the wrong trap is not easy, realising you’re in it is just the start. If only being right was enough, people agreeing that you are right is the battle. If being right was enough, you wouldn’t be in the wrong trap.

            How long have you been there now?

            Think back, do you even remember when you got there?

            Keep thinking and you’ll end up staying there forever


            “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to chose one thought over another”

‘William James’           

            Is it your fault?

             Wrong question, it doesn’t matter, keep asking the same question keeps you in the trap

            Blame tethers you to the past

            This is the wrong trap

            You are feeding the dragon

            You are giving it what it wants

            Fuel for it’s futile fire

            Proving with every passing moment that the right really were right and you really were wrong all along 

            It must be right to them because you were clearly wrong again


            Do you see the bars of the cage you are in?

            Have you seen the door?

           Are you still looking at the past

           Listening to the broken record


            That cage door

            How long have you been looking at it?

            Have you checked whether it’s locked?

            Walk towards it

            Give it a push


            Imagine that



            This essay was right at publication

            Its truth is finite and degrades upon reading


            First published April 2017