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The Brave New World Will Not Be Free Entry

You will be able to stay at home, brother

You will be able to plug in, turn off and cop out

You will be able to lose yourself on skag

And have beer on tap during commercials, because

The brave new world will not be free entry

 

The brave new world will not be free entry

The brave new world will be brought to you by Google

With pop up window commercial interruptions

The brave new world will show you pictures of poison blowing a bugle,

And leading a charge by ‘Steve Bannan’, ‘General Pence’ and ‘Rex Tillerson’

To eat hog maws confiscated from humane sanctuary

The brave new world will not be free entry

 

The brave new world will be brought to you by ‘America’s Got Talent’

And will star ‘Harry Styles’ and ‘Cara Delevingne’ or ‘Kim and Kanye’

The brave new world will give your mouth sex appeal

The brave new world will get rid of the nubs

The brave new world will make you look five pounds thinner, because

The brave new world will be televised, brother

 

There will be pictures of you and ‘O.J. Simpson’

Pushing that shopping cart down the block on that dead run

Or trying to slide that flat screen T.V. into that stolen ambulance

NBC will be able to predict the winner

At 8:32 on reports from 29 districts

The brave new world will not be free entry

 

There will be pictures of pigs shooting down brothers in the instant replay

There will be pictures of pigs shooting down brothers in the instant replay

There will be pictures of “Elizabeth Warren’

Being run out of the senate on a rail with a brand new process

There will be slow motion and still life of ‘Bill O’Riley’

Strolling through ‘Fox’ in a red, white and blue liberation jumpsuit

That he had been saving for just the right occasion

 

‘Mad Men’, ‘Real Housewives’ and ‘Ice Road Truckers’

Will be so God damned relevant

And women will care if ‘Julius’ finally screws ‘Ella’

On ‘Made in Chelsea’

and black people will still be in the street looking for a brighter day

The brave new world will not be free entry

 

There will be highlights on the ‘Eleven O’Clock news

With pictures of hairy armed women liberationists

And ‘Catherine Windsor’ blowing her nose

The theme song will be written by ‘Chris Martin’ or ‘Pharrell Williams’

And will be sung by ‘Taylor Swift’, ‘Bruno Mars’,

‘Justin Bieber’ or ‘Ed Sheeran’

The brave new world will not be free entry

 

The brave new world will be right back

After click bait about ten celebrities you didn’t realise were gay

And a video people wealthier than you ‘don’t want you to see

You will not have to worry about the dove in the oil slick,

The last tiger in the wild or the giant haemorrhoid in your toilet bowl

The brave new world will go better with coke

The brave new world will fight germs that may cause bad breath

The brave new world will make you feel like you are in the drivers seat

 

The brave new world will not be free entry,

Will not be free entry

Will not be free entry

Will not be free entry

The brave new world will be on demand, brothers,

The brave new world will be pay per view.

 

May 2017